
Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh.
~ Genesis 2:24, KJV
and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh.
~ Genesis 2:24, KJV
It was my husband's birthday. We had big plans for the evening and I was hoping to make his day the best that I could. The presents were bought and we had plans to go to our favorite restaurant.
He got home from work a little early that day and asked me to join him in the living room. I wasn't sure what was up, but I understood from the look on his face that something was wrong. Something terrible.
Sitting across from him, I'll never forget the sound of his words that rang in my ears and ripped through my heart, "Are you having an affair?" He asked.
Looking up at him I quickly answered, "No. Why would you even ask that?"
"Please don't lie to me," he said. And as he continued to question me the heat rose in my face. My cheeks were numb, my mouth was dry and weak. "Did you have an affair?"
I hung my head, unable to look in his eyes. Barely able to speak I lifted my chin in a nod and then in another. My house of cards collapsed, my shame crashing to the ground along with it.
My sin, the glorious fruit of lust had enticed me into the pit of death where all I could think of was death. For death itself had enveloped me and with it came shame and reproach. I had sinned against God, my husband and my family. Everything I had once held so dear to me loomed above the pit of sin and shame I had dug for myself.
A few hours later I was up in my bedroom packing the few things I had left. Michael and I had talked, but at the end of the day there was nothing I had left to offer him, nothing but soiled rags--words of remorse that he couldn't rely on, and promises where all trust was gone. My eyes were swollen from crying, my heart was heavy with shame.
"Do you want to stay?" he asked.
I didn't know how to answer that. All I wanted to do was stay with my family--to turn back the clock a year--but I was unworthy to be a wife, a mother and a child of God. How could I stay in a place where I didn't belong? How could I ever live on the surface again? How could I ever be trusted to love?
"I can't." I said. "I just can't..."
And again he said, "That's not what I'm asking you. Do you WANT to stay?" he asked.
Loving his wife as Christ loves the church, his hand of grace reached down to me when I needed it most.
There is incredible power in the words of Jesus Christ who said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."
I didn't deserve Michael's love and forgiveness. I didn't deserve a second chance. I didn't deserve my family and I didn't deserve to be loved by those that I hurt. But in that moment of darkness where one person in this world cared enough to display the covenant keeping love of Jesus Christ to His church I turned from my sin and clung to the grace of God that is strong enough to break the bands of sin and death. It's strong enough to graft one man to a woman when everything in this world threatens to pull them apart.
I started Time-Warp Wife out of that place of grace, all the while wondering if God could use someone who’s broken and tarnished like me. The object of my ministry is to encourage women in their marriage in hopes that they won’t make the mistakes that I have.
I am a sinner who is nothing without the grace of our Lord.
In order for two souls to survive this union--to be grafted together as one--they must be completely sealed by the covenant-keeping love of our Lord Jesus Christ and the faithfulness of His bride. It's the compound that holds marriage together and the reason itself that marriage exists.
Marriage exists to display the merciful
covenant-keeping love of Christ
and the faithfulness of his bride.
~ John Piper, Momentary Marriage
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene
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