What Are You Writing On the Page of His Heart?

Remember those first few months of your courtship, when as they say “Love was blind?” My husband was perfect in every way. He wasn't just the most intelligent man I’d ever met--he was also the cutest, the funniest, the most talented, the best dresser... I’m certain that Michael sensed that feeling of love and acceptance which in turn made him feel every bit as masculine and handsome as I believed him to be.

When you experience that kind of love, you feel worthy to receive and give love. In fact I remember a single friend of mine once said to me, “It’s amazing how a man has the power to make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world one day, and with one negative statement like ‘let’s just be friends’ that beautiful feeling is gone.”

This is the kind of spark I want to keep in my marriage. I hold some power when it comes to making my husband feel like the most amazing man in the world--one spark is all it takes to ignite the fire. But in much the same way, a bad attitude and disrespect have the potential to douse any flame we might have.

I've been married for 24 years, but if you've read my testimony, you'll know that there was a time in my marriage when things had turned sour. My husband was over-focused on work and paid little attention to tending to jobs around the house. Instead of mowing the lawn on a Saturday morning, he’d head off to work. Instead of being home in time for supper he’d stroll in anywhere from 7-9 pm.

Looking back on it now I don't blame him for wanting to stay at work. I was resentful, gave up on the house, and started to focus on me. So we had two people harboring anger, and as our resentment grew, the wall went up, brick by brick.

Praise God that we finally came to a point in our marriage where we both saw how damaged things had become. Thankfully we both valued our relationship enough to sit down and talk, until every bit of resentment was out in the open where we could deal with the issues at hand.

I've come to learn something about communication, which is that God calls us to a life of righteousness, which is quick to listen and slow to speak. Life is no longer about me and what I want; it's about living for the good of my family and ultimately pleasing the Lord.

If this marriage is our love story, I want it to be so captivating that we can't put it down. But in order to do that I have to ask myself what it is that I'm writing on the page of his heart. Do I communicate my love by listening as much as I speak? Or am I too concerned about the things that I want out of this relationship to consider his needs?

Like our bodies, a marital infection needs to be treated. Sometimes a cut excretes fluid which is our body's way of cleaning out the wound and fighting bacteria. An abscess however builds up under the skin until it is surgically removed.

Couples disagree, they argue, and feelings get hurt like infections that rise to the surface. When we communicate our differences and work toward reconciliation we are treating the wound as it rises, but resentments that are left untreated will fester and grow to the point where we have serious problems to solve.

Communication, without the weapons of warfare, is important to understanding each other and healing our pain. If you find it difficult to talk to your spouse, write him letters that stem from a place of kindness, humility, patience and love. Whether you're talking or writing or simply being there for him, keep the lines of communication wide open and keep writing your love story with every breath that you take!

I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:1-3

You are loved by an almighty God,



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Hey... want some reading over the weekend? I'm over at Club 31 Women sharing a post about looking for the best in our husband by choosing a path that is paved with compassion and grace. I hope you stop in over there and say, hi!

In participation with: The Better Mom