Teaching Christmas to Young Hearts

Drawn from my archives

We've all heard the saying, “The world is taking ‘Christ’ out of Christmas.” But when I turn my face away from the world to examine my own life and that of my family, I'm left with the question, "What am I doing to put Christ into each Christmas?"

As a mom, it’s my responsibility to ensure that these children know who Jesus is, and that He is the reason we bring our love to the world at Christmas.

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of our Lord, we have an opportunity to reflect the testimony of the Christ child in all that we do, and to weave the message of salvation into young hearts by showing them the mercy of God and His love to mankind.

How can we do that? In a number of ways:

Teach them that the evergreen tree is a symbol of God, who through every season of our life remains the same God He always was and always will be.

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.
~ Hebrews 13:8, KJV

Show them the twinkling star at the top of the tree, rejoicing together as wise men once did in search of the newborn child.

Where is he that is born King of the Jews?
For we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.
~ Matthew 2:2, KJV

Trace fingers on angel wings as we recall the words of the angels...

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold,
I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be
to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city
of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
~ Luke 2:10-11, KJV

Watch the twinkle of each light, reminding young hearts that we reflect the light of God to this world.

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on
an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle,
and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and
it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
~ Matthew 5:14-15, KJV

Notice the shimmer of light as it bounces from each shiny red bulb, and remember the blood of Christ that was shed for our sins.

For this is my blood of the new testament, which is
shed for many for the remission of sins.
~ Matthew 26:28

Enjoy the wrapping of each present, keeping in mind the gifts that were brought to Jesus

And when they were come into the house, they saw
the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down,
and worshipped him: and when they had opened their
treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold,
and frankincense and myrrh.
~ Matthew 2:11

Hang candy canes on the tree in remembrance of the shepherds with their staffs who came to visit the baby Jesus.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. ~ Luke 2:15-16

And most of all, let's continue to teach this throughout the rest of the year!

You are loved by an almighty God,



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A Little Secret Every Mother Should Know

It wasn't what I expected--to see him up on the cupboard like that. But when I turned around, that's exactly where he was, knee-deep in flour rolling the dough I had started to press. 

Last Friday I was blessed once again when Nathaniel stood beside me at the sink asking if he could finish the dishes I had started to wash. Up to his elbows in water, he scrubbed pots and pans until the last one was dry and put back to rest in the cupboard. He's caring that way. 

Each and every time I return home with groceries, he'll rush past me, load himself up like a pack mule and say, "It's okay, Mom. I got them!" 

Some days I look at this little man growing before me and I see a gift in the future for just the right girl. All in God's time. 

Last night I got to thinking about behavior and how children conduct themselves in one of three ways. 

1. You have a child who plops down on the couch waiting for the world to serve his every need. 

2. A child who will get up and help you or help themselves when they are instructed to do so. 

3. A child who will take the initiative to live beyond themselves by helping others before they are asked.

While number two illustrates good behavior, we see how the third scenario depicts a child with excellent behavior. The question however that's been lingering with me for about fifteen years is How do we get our children there? 

How do we get them to that place where they say, "Mom, do you want me to fold this laundry for you?" or "Dad, do you need some help with the drywall?" 

When I say fifteen years I'm not exaggerating by any stretch of the imagination. I started thinking about this when Brendan was about five-years-old and he's almost twenty-one now. I knew that I wanted him to have a servants heart, but I didn't know how to instill that in him. What was I doing right? What was I doing wrong? 

As youngsters, my sisters and I instinctively gave up our seats to elderly people. We said thank you when we were away from home and offered to help with the dishes if we were guests at their table. Servant-hood was ingrained in our soul. Again, I'm not just talking about girls here. I know plenty of men who respect others, who cherish them, and who are willing to serve them without being asked. 

Unfortunately there's this modern mindset that tells women that if they serve their husbands their sons will grow up to be self-centered, chauvinistic pigs because that's the example we're setting for them. 

That couldn't be farther from the truth. The Bible tells us to,"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - Proberbs 22:6, KJV

So the answer to the question that lingered with me for the past fifteen years? An exemplified life. If you want a child to grow up with the attitude of going the extra mile for others you must be willing to model that behavior while they are growing under your care. 

To think that serving your husband would cause him to take advantage of you is unreasonable. If you're married to someone that's self-centered it's not because your tender loving care has made him that way. In fact people are more likely to mirror your behavior than they are to swing the opposite way. 

The perfect scenario for growing children is to see two parents who are willing to go the extra mile for each other. A family who is serving one another other in each their own way. 

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. Mark 10:45, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

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Raising Children With One Heart & One Mind

When reading John chapter seventeen, one can't help but notice the fervent prayer of "unity" that Jesus prayed in the last hours of His death. In particular, these verses have always stood out to me:

Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. ~ John 17:20-23, KJV

In reading that we gain an understanding of how important unity is for believers. And the reason it's important is because we bring glory to God when we reflect a unified church. We are a living testimony to the life of Christ and that testimony is strengthened when the body of Christ is whole.

Let's look at the flip-side for a moment and consider a scenario. Say I have a problem with a woman at church and I write about my frustrations openly on my blog. And let's say that this woman talks about it at play group. By doing that, what we are showing the world is a fractured church where members are at war with one another rather than a body that is functioning well. God is not a God of confusion, and neither should we be.

This is how we are instructed to handle disagreements:

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. ~ Matthew 18:15, NIV

Further instruction is given in Matthew 18 for those who can't resolve their problems alone. But I won't get into that today because I'm simply making the point that unity should be achieved behind closed doors.

With that thought in mind consider how this message is a benefit to the family unit. When children see two parents raising them with one heart and mind they see order instead of confusion.

When parents are headed in two different directions, we develop a fracture in the family unit that can be detrimental to our children.

One example is when parents argue in front of the kids. Not only is this dis-heartening to children, it also models a lack of love and respect to our spouse. If we want our children to seek out good relationships when they are older then we must show them what that relationship looks like today. We can start by discussing disagreements behind closed doors. How do we do that? We make an effort to exercise self control.

A second example is dissing our spouse when he's not around, or showing a lack of respect for him when he is absent. I want my sons to find wives that respect them, and therefore I need to show them what that picture looks like today. In the same way I want my daughter to respect her future husband. (and vice versa for both). I must teach them these lessons today, as they're growing before me. That window of opportunity is only open so long.

You are loved by an almighty God,



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Has the New Baby Flipped Your House Upside-Down?

Dear Darlene, 

I have been reading your blog for almost two years now, and it really helped get my household and my relationship in order.

My husband and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary this month. Last June we welcomed our first baby (a beautiful honeymoon baby)... and that is when things went crazy.

My house is a mess again, my husband is working long hours so I can stay home (which we discussed way before we got married, so that part I understand)... there is just no time to get chores done.

It is frustrating because i had everything in order and perfect and I felt like i was doing my job, but now... ugh. I feel like I am failing at part of my responsibility. Not only does my husband not get the attention he used to, sometimes dinner isnt ready and the house is a wreck!

This little bundle of pink likes lots of attention all of the time. Put her down to start a load of laundry and the crying starts. I've tried wearing a carrier/sling but some things just cannot be done with her on me.

An experienced mother's advice would certainly help!

Thanks for your time,

New Mommy

Dear New Mommy, 

Congratulations on your baby and the upcoming anniversary. What an exciting year!

Do you realize just how much has changed for you in the past 12 months? You went from being a single woman to being a wife and a mommy! A little person came out of you. *wink*

Not only are you a mom, you are mom to a newborn baby who demands so much of your time... Okay, I'm pretty much repeating everything you just said, aren't I? LOL

Let's take a look at these verses from Ecclesiastes 3 (NIV):

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Here's a line that really stands out to me when it comes to the topic of newborns: a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. What that says to me is that newborns need your full attention and while they do you can’t expect to have the house the way that you always dreamed it would be or the way that you used to have it.

My guess is that during your pregnancy you had a nesting stage. Most of us do. That’s the time in our lives when we go crazy decorating and cleaning the house. We are excited that everything is pretty and everything is in its place. Suddenly your arms have taken on a 24 hour job of their own and you’re looking around the house wondering when and how you’re ever going to have a clean house again. 

It can feel like the house has been flipped upside-down at times, but take heart because there's a second part to that verse that I quoted which says, “a time to refrain from embracing.” That’s the stage when your kids start growing and you get busy taking them for walks, finger painting, going to the library, making cookies, etc. If Dad comes home and the house is a mess every day you might ask yourself,  “Am I balancing things as well as I should be?” I'm not saying that all moms with growing kids have immaculate homes--what I am saying here is that we must always evaluate our lives to ensure that we are in balance.

Being a good keeper of your home includes keeping your children healthy, happy, and free from harm. Good wives learn to prioritize well and at this stage in your life a baby is your primary concern and more than a full-time job.

What I’d like to suggest to you is that you talk to your husband about your concerns. I think it might take a load off of your mind if he understands that your desire to keep the house clean isn’t in balance with your schedule or perhaps your energy level--at this time. Talking things out might help to ease your mind and perhaps you can pray about it and work out a solution together.

I’d like to add this. I remember that the cleanest my house has ever been was during those months when my children were crawling. Those were the immaculate seasons of my life because little hands were on the floor 24/7. Not only that, baby was off of my lap and I was hands free. You have to keep things off of the floor or they’ll eat it. Haha!

All this to say that you are walking through a season of your life that will change as quickly as it arrived. Do what you can and let go of that which you can’t. Embrace your baby and enjoy every minute you have.

In closing I'd like to offer you a link to a post I wrote a while ago called, "Organized Chaos." I hope it encourages you! 

You are loved by an almighty God,

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31 Ways to Pray for Our Children

A few weeks ago I shared a post called, Praying for the Purity of Our Children. In that post we talked about the warped values and corrupt definition of beauty that the media is feeding to young girls. It goes without saying that this message can also affect the way that young boys view the women around them.

At the end of that post I invited readers to join together in praying for mothers everywhere so that we would step up to our God-given responsibility of nurturing our children the way God designed them to be.

Since that time I've put together a list of 31 ways that we can pray for our children along with scripture verses to guide us in truth. That's one for every day of the month!

1. Pray that you parent your children with patience and persistence. Ask God for wisdom in discipline.
   
   Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. ~ James 1:19, NIV
   
2. While your children are growing, pray often for their salvation, as the prophet Isaiah wrote,
   
   Drop down, ye heavens, from above, and let the skies pour down righteousness: let the earth open, and let them bring forth salvation, and let righteousness spring up together; I the LORD have created it. ~ Isaiah 45:8
   
3. Give children age appropriate responsibilities, praying that they will learn the value of stewardship. Teach them to appreciate all that we have as a gift from the Lord.
   
   Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity. ~ Titus 2:7, ESV
   
4. Pray against the influence of peer pressure. Ask God to help you in developing your child’s unique character and purpose.
   
   Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ~ Ephesians 6:11&12, NIV
   
5. Pray that God will help your child to speak wisely and bridle her tongue that it might be used effectively.
   
   Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29, NIV
   
6. Pray that your child will see the value and importance of modesty. That they may represent themselves as holy and acceptable servants of the Lord.
   
   Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ~ 1 Peter 3:3-4, NIV
   
7. Pray that you guide your children toward a healthy level of self-esteem. Not an attitude that is driven by pride, but by who he is in Jesus Christ.
   
   For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~ Psalm 139:13&14, NIV
   
   
8. Pray that your children are compassionate and charitable. That they desire to live beyond themselves.
   
   Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ~ Colossians 3:12-14
   
9. Pray asking that your children will have a heart to please God, and walk in His ways. As the Psalmist wrote:
   
   More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold, sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. ~ Psalm 19:10, NIV
   
10. Pray over your children when they are sleeping. Place your hopes and dreams for their future in the hands of our Lord.
    
    "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jermiah 29:11, NIV
    
    
11. Start a prayer journal with your children so that you can guide them and teach them the power of prayer. Pray together as a family often.
    
    Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV
    
12. Pray with a heart of gratitude for the little things that go unnoticed. The way that her arms feel when she gives you a hug, the smile he gives you each morning as you approach his crib, the way it feels when he grabs your hand…
    
    In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18, KJV
    
13. Read the Bible together and pray about the lessons therein that God might strengthen you as a spiritual leader.
    
    Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. ~ Psalm 119:11, KJV
    
    
14. Pray that your child will value family connections.
    
    Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~ James 1:27, NIV
    
    
15. Pray for ways that you might communicate Biblical principles to your child. And that your child will accept the Word of God as applicable for today.
    
    Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost. ~ 2 Peter 1:20-21, NIV
    
16. Pray that the time you share with your children will be of great value. That they might learn spiritual and life lessons from you.
    
    Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6, NIV
    
17. Pray that your children will have a desire and see the importance of attending church. That they would desire to assemble together and work as one with the body of Christ.
    
    And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. ~ Hebrews 10:24&25, KJV
    
18. Pray that they will cherish the golden rule. That they would be willing to lend a hand when help is needed and to treat others with love and respect.
    
    So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. ~ Matthew 7:12, NIV
    
19. Pray that your children would recognize the glory of God, and the hand of their Creator in the world around them.
    
    The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. ~ Psalm 19:1&2, NIV
    
20. Pray that your children will find their joy in the Lord. That they will learn to be thankful in all things, choosing joy over sorrow.
    
    Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV
    
21. Pray that you will be an example of love and kindness to your children. An example that reflects the love of Jesus in all that you do.
    
    Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ~ Luke 6:38, NIV
    
22. Pray that your children understand the love of God toward mankind in that He gave His only begotten Son to die that we might be saved.
    
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. ~ John 3:16, KJV
23. Pray for a heart of purity in growing children. That they will stand strong against temptation and lust. That she might see her body as the temple of the Holy Ghost and present it as holy and acceptable to the Lord.
    
    Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me ~ Psalm 51:10
    
24. Pray that your child isn’t drawn in by the deceitfulness of money, but lives in such a way that he might attain an eternal reward.
    
    And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. ~ 1 Timothy 6:8&9, KJV
    
25. Pray with thanksgiving for the blessings He has bestowed on you through your child.
    
    Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. ~ Psalm 100:3&4, KJV
    
26. Pray for the spiritual welfare of your children with your spouse or a friend.
    
    Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. ~ Matthew 18:18-20, NIV
    
27. Enlighten your children to the world around them by supporting missions and teaching them that there is a world both hungry for food and hungry for God. Pray that they will have a heart for missions.
    
    Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ ~ Matthew 25:34-36, NIV
    
28. Pray that your children will grow strong in their faith as they adhere to the word of God.
    
    So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. ~ Romans 10:17, KJV
    
29. Pray that your child will develop and meek and quiet spirit.
    
    As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:1-3, NIV
    
30. Pray that your child will develop a hunger for the Word of God and the wisdom to understand it.
    
    Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. ~ 2 Timothy 2:15, NIV
    
31. Pray that your children will grow in respect, submitting to those who are placed in positions of authority.
    
    Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. ~ 1 Peter 2:13&14, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,



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Praying for the Purity of Our Children

I'm sure that many of you have come across the "Toddler and Tiara" videos that circulate the net, some of you might have even watched the show. They're every where you look these days and many of them are disturbing as we see young children in provocative clothing prancing around on stage. In fact I touched on the subject a few weeks ago in a post called, "Raising Girls in a Me Generation." 

Even more disturbing was a video I saw last night. The coach on TLC's new show "Dance Moms" instructed the girls to dance "topless." Well, not exactly "topless," they wore flesh colored bras to give the illusion that they were naked on stage. The coach instructed them to jump around on stage thinking words like, "You can't have me... You can't afford me..." 

My heart breaks. And each time they push that envelope it breaks again and again. Where will it stop? 

I won't even share the video clip with you because it's that disturbing and it doesn't need to be seen. Children are not dolls to display like possessions, they aren't objects to be exploited for gain, and it should go without saying--but unfortunately it must be said--they are not sex objects. 

As I carried the burden with me today I asked the Lord, What can I do? Aside from turning the television off, and caring for the children I have, what can I offer to those whose purity and innocence I so desire to protect? 

Absorbing the words of J.R. Miller from his book entitled The Family the answer was clear: I can either stand and wag a finger in judgement or I can get down on my knees and pray. Praying not only for those mothers who are in the public eye, but for this mother of four with all of her imperfections who by the grace of Our Lord is a work in progress. Failing time and again I continue to press on for the goal, guiding young hearts with every step that I take. 

Would you like to join me in praying for the purity of our children? If so... this is one prayer we can start with:

“Oh that God would give every mother a vision

of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her

when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained!

Could she have but one glimpse

 into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity;

could she look into it’s soul to see its possibilities;

could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility 

for the training of this child,

for the development of its life, and for its destiny,

–she would see that in all God’s world there is no other work so noble

 and so worthy of her best powers,

and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.”

 -JR Miller

Grab the code if you'd like a button link to this post:

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You are loved by an almighty God,



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Grab a Glass Half-Full of Acceptance

Up until two years ago I was in the habit of getting down on myself for every little mistake that I made. When you consider that I made several/day you’ll understand why this was a problem. I tend to be clumsy, unfocused and big-time forgetful.

It all came to a head when my daughter and I went on vacation together. We had never done anything like this before, but I had just received an advance on a book I was writing and I had always wanted to go to LA. Knowing that this would be a good chance to bond with my daughter I seized the opportunity. We were excited to spend an entire week in the sun.

What I hadn’t anticipated was how intimidating the experience would be. We were far from home and not only was I responsible for myself, I was responsible for her safety as well.

I made mistakes at every turn, starting from the moment we got off the plane and found out that our hotel didn’t have the airport shuttle we were promised. Taxi cabs were a nightmare. We’d go shopping one place and find out that the cab wouldn’t drive us back to our hotel because it was out of their jurisdiction.

I thought I had it all worked out when I booked a tour guide to take us to Universal Studios. The bus driver pulled up into the parking lot, dropped us off and told us that he’d be back at 6pm to bring us back to our hotel.

Do you want to know what a goof I was? We spent most of the day outside the gates. Yep! I had no idea that there was an entire theme park to see! The park entrance was like a mall, with restaurants and shops, but after getting through that in about an hour, we sat on a bench wondering what all of the hoopla was about. Why would anyone pay to go there? Finally we discovered that the little ticket in our pockets gave us entrance into a theme park unlike anything we had ever seen before.

Unfortunately by the time we got in to the park it was late in the day and we only had about an hour left to see everything.

You Can Choose Your Mood

I was so near to tears I could barely enjoy the time we had left. All I wanted to do was tell myself what an idiot I was, and how I had ruined our entire trip. I stood there choking back tears as I looked down at my watch. Then something happened. I guess you could say that I was standing at a fork in the road. I could either choose to focus on my imperfections or I could grab a glass half-full of acceptance. I chose to accept myself as a wonderfully-weird work in progress and we enjoyed the rest of the day.

The next morning we walked down to the ocean. Although our hotel was close to the shore we had spent all of our time up on the Santa Monica Pier. Madison wanted to dip her toes in the ocean for the first time in her life and I wanted to walk barefoot on the beach. About three hundred feet from the shoreline, I stopped short, took a deep breath and cried, “Oh no!”

Madison turned to look at me wondering what it could possibly be.

“Maddy,” I said, “I goofed up. We don’t have to leave our hotel in an hour—our plane leaves California in an hour!”

Both of us turned around as quickly as we could and ran back to the hotel to pack. That feeling of failure washed over me again, just as it had the day before. How could I have made an error like this? What if we don’t catch our plane in time?!

And then, just as fear and doubt were about to set in, a sense of peace washed over me. Regardless of what was about to take place, we would not only be okay, we’d make the best of the day. And we did. The trip home was every bit as fun as our vacation was.

With that I'd love to close with Paul's two-fold perspective on perfectionism which calls us to forget the past and press on in faith!

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
~ Philippans 3:12-14, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Do You Know How Proud I Am of You?

Because I'm a woman, a wife, and a mother, my writing it targeted toward other "women." My mission is to encourage you--as I'm also pursuing--to joyfully serve your family as unto the Lord. 

I've noticed however that I'll often see comments in regards to my blog or my book along these lines: "there should be more books that focus on how men should lead their wives and how they should properly respect/treat them. I don't see half as many books on the subject as I do women."

By the way... have I ever told you how much I appreciate your feedback? I do--thank you!

So let's address this shall we?

We all know how important it is for children to have male role models that they can look up to, and how much of an influence dads can have in their lives. The way that my husband relates to me as his wife for example, leaves a lasting impression on our children and will help them determine the way that they should treat women or how my daughter should expect to be treated as a woman.

The truth is however that having a great dad isn’t always the case. While some of you may have incredible husbands, many of you may be struggling with a spouse that isn’t involved with the children, doesn't lead the family spiritually, or in some cases he's completely out of their lives.

While I am praying and hoping that fathers are stepping up to lead the family in faith, I write to women in hopes that we are managing our own responsibilities and stepping up where we must.

I could offer some thoughts to men on the topic of parenting but it isn’t my calling or my place to teach them. The truth it that I don’t know the first thing about being a man, a husband or a father.

I know what it's like to have a child living and growing inside me, and I know what it’s like to hold my child up to my breast while she takes her first drink. I know the joy and sacrifice in being a mom. 

Here is a quote by author Donna Ball that sums up motherhood well.

Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness
and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons,
to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...
and to forgive yourself, over and over again,
for doing everything wrong.
~ Donna Ball, At Home on Lady Bug Farm

Did you catch that last part about imperfection? When you consider that many women are starting families in their early twenties, you have to expect that many of us will stumble along the way. Weren’t you just eighteen yesterday? Didn’t you learn to ride a bike the week before? Where did the time go?

You’re a teenager one day and the next day you’re someone’s wife. You have a home of your own and more importantly you have children that are depending on you to make the best choices for them physically, mentally and spiritually. There are dishes in the sink, the laundry pile is out of control, and you can’t find time for a nap, but you keep pressing on daily because that’s what love does.

Can I stop for a moment to tell you how proud I am of you? Seriously. I’m in tears as I write this because I know that there are many of you—so many — who don’t realize how appreciated you are.

Whether you are raising a baby, a toddler, or a teen you are someone’s “mom” and that’s an incredible job!

And by the way, young "wife" yes--I'm proud of YOU too.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Let the Lord Build Your House & a Titus 2sday Link Up Party!

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it:
except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
~ Psalm 127:1

When I shared Psalm 127:1 on the Time-Warp Wife facebook page, a question arose, What does it really mean? 

It's a good reminder for those of us who are raising a family, building a strong marriage, or simply setting up house. The words deliver a message to us wherever we are in life, but the root of that message remains the same: whatever we set out to build must be laid upon a firm foundation. If there's anything I've learned about being a wife and a mother that would definitely be it...

I remember the night like it was yesterday. I'll never forget that feeling of helplessness that hung in the room while the nurse stood by my side--waiting for someone to give us an answer. 

What was happening to my son? It wasn't said--it didn't have to be. We knew that he was struggling to stay alive while a team of doctors worked to find a solution. 

Only six-weeks-old and he was facing a complication from the surgery he had earlier that day. We were told that his operation was an incredibly difficult one. That because of the extent of the procedure we had to wait until the six week mark. Until that time his health was dangling by a thread with a ureter that could erupt at any given time. He had a serious issue with his kidney's that required immediate attention, but because of the severity we waited until he was strong enough to go under anesthetics for that long. Every night during those weeks of waiting our baby slept with a New Testament open on his tummy. It was a symbol to us and to our child that we were placing him into the hands of our Lord. 

It was finally over, or so we thought. Hustling around the room the nurse kept herself busy asking me questions to take my mind off of the problem at hand. Do you have any other children? How long have you been married? Have you always lived in this city?... Her sudden interest in me at three in the morning told me that she was seeing the same thing that I was. What had started out as a puffy spot beneath his eye increased. We were now looking at an infant whose entire face was swollen to possibly twice it's size. 

It was a horrific sight and one of the toughest experiences I've ever faced as a mother. But in that moment of darkness when all there was to hang on to was hope, I had a sure and steady rock I could lean on that carried me through. 

That's what Psalm 127 says to me. Build your house upon the rock, for when the rain comes, and it will, you will have firm place where you can stand and say, "It it well." 

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. ~ Psalm 127:1

The Lord knows those times that I pace or call a friend with my problems before getting down on my knees. Those many times when I'm failing to rest--when I'm failing to lean. Those times when I take my eyes off the Savior to look down at the water beneath me while that sinking feeling sets in. His grace carries me through as I learn to lean a little more every day. And while I do, I'm learning the importance of building that place where I can run to for shelter.


We have stop and ask ourselves why sometime: 


Why are we raising these children? So they'll grow up to be good citizens, or faithful warriors in the kingdom of God? 


Why do we enter into marriage? So that we have life-long companion or so that we might reflect the covenant of our Lord Jesus Christ and His faithful Bride? 


Why do we keep a good house? So that our family will be proud of us, or so that we may serve others as unto the Lord? 

And so you might ask, can't we have both? The answer is absolutely, and I pray that you will!

Bloggers: Join the party...

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, etc.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the Titus 2sday code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Z2SH9vpEeZclvzNQvHAgcEeyupkkdLhOVagtToDOYmViBaTH9m-MabTtnHFkWYQgNxhBX6iN9AgXeYr65bU2n9UF-GaIiSueQNdyncScCx5pXLloM1jJNxtGA5xkzyiFzbRWT1BAruY/s1600/TuesdaysButton.jpg" /></a>

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Raising Girls in a "Me" Generation

Image from Anderson Cooper's Segment on Toddlers in Tiaras

We're raising daughters in a “me” generation, where women are striving for power and beauty. As a mother of a teenage girl, I see how young girls long to be popular and in the process of clawing their way to the top, can lose focus of who they were created to be. Like you, I've been there myself. They are inundated with messages through the internet, television, and magazines that remind them of how they don’t measure up to perfection. 


And then there are toddlers whose parents are pushing them into the spotlight in hopes they'll obtain a tiara or two. We've all seen their photos on magazine covers at the supermarket and a fair share of video clips have circled the net. It's easy to forget that there's an impressionable child underneath all that chiffon. 

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that it's wrong to be beautiful or to dress pretty. I'm a woman, and I want to embrace that in a healthy way. What I am saying is this--don't waste this opportunity to teach your daughter where true beauty resides. Help her to focus, or REfocus if you must, on an incorruptible crown of glory. Teach her to maximize inner beauty and to be modest in all things. Show her how to live beyond herself in humility and grace.


These images are radical, but I'm not writing this post to scoff at the world around us. If I wanted to sneer at imperfection I would start by pointing a finger at myself. My daughter's future has been entrusted to MY care  where for this time in her life I have a responsibility to point her in the best direction I can.

In order to cultivate inner beauty that lasts we have to start asking ourselves, what are WE modelling for these girls? Faith calls us to walk in humility, kindness, sincerity, and love. These are the things that not only enrich our lives; they affect the people around us. These are the things that cultivate inner beauty which will last much longer than any trophy or tiara ever will.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:25, NIV

Sam Levenson a television host and journalist who was popular in the 1960s to early ‘70s wrote a poem called, “Time-Tested Beauty Tips.” The poem has often been attributed to Audrey Hepburn in error as it was one of her favorite poems, but the truth is that Sam wrote it for his granddaughter. It’s a beautiful reminder of what true beauty is.

Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

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Free Printable! Summer Bucket Lists

If you're looking to have a little summer fun with your kids, I have almost 50 ideas that I've put together in a few "Bucket List" printables. The printable page contains three different lists, containing about 16 ideas on each. 

Instead of putting them into one long list I thought that three smaller lists would be more manageable. This way moms can tackle one list at a time, perhaps taking two weeks for each one. Whatever works for you!

Some of the ideas that you'll find on the lists are: 

• Bring a blanket and read in the park
• Bring a special treat to your librarians
• Pick up litter in your neighborhood
• Go for a nature walk
• Get another family together for a baseball game
• Go on a treasure hunt
• Make a time capsule
• Build a sand castle
• Read a book of the Bible together
• Wash the car
• Have a water balloon fight

Download a copy of your three "Summer Bucket Lists" and get almost 50 ideas for fun!

Click here to view and download the "Summer Bucket Lists."

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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31 Ways to Inspire Your Children

1. Choose your battles wisely ~ give patience where patience is due, and continually ask God for wisdom in discipline.
2. While your children are growing, pray often for their salvation, as the prophet Isaiah wrote, "Drop down, ye heavens, from above, and let the skies pour down righteousness: let the earth open, and let them bring forth salvation, and let righteousness spring up together; I the LORD have created it." ~ Isaiah 45:8
3. Give children age appropriate responsibilities teaching them to care for the things God gives us.
4. Each child is individual; pray that God will help you in developing that individual character.
5. Listen to how your children speak, and encourage them to choose words wisely at school and at home. It’s important to teach them to bridle their tongue.
6. Set standards for your children as you teach them the importance of modest dress. They should represent themselves as holy and acceptable unto God.
7. Never forget to tell your children you’re proud of them. Don’t assume that they already know how you feel.
8. Teach your child to tithe by suggesting that they take one tenth of their allowance to put aside for church offering. Also teach them that we can give in additional ways such as donating old toys and clothes to the poor.
9. Pray often that your children will long to please God, and that they will desire to walk in His ways as the Psalmist wrote, "More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold, sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb." ~ Psalm 19:10
10. Pray over your children while they are sleeping. With a heart like Hannah, give them over to God.
11. Start notebooks for each of your children, and together journal the changing world around us. Take note of the tiniest detail in God’s creation. Babies. Snowflakes. Lady Bugs…
12. Keep a running list of prayer requests and pray together as a family often.
13. Bible reading is a wonderful way to spend time together as a family. Make it a routine in your home.
14. Visit relatives often to show children the value of relationships.
15. Choose a character from the Bible and after reading the story together discuss how that message relates to your child today.
16. Give time to your children each day. The time you give makes the words you speak of more value to them.
17. Bring your children to church and help them seek out ways to get involved.
18. Be an example to your children of one who loves her neighbor as herself through random acts of kindness. Lend a helping hand to a busy neighbor, or take time out of a busy day to simply say hello.
19. Try counting the stars on a clear night to show your child how vast God’s creation is.
20. Laughter is medicine for the soul ~ laugh often with your children.
21. Smile often, and let kindness be a cloak you wear as an example to your children.
22. Don’t just tell your children that you love them ~ tell them what you love about them.
23. Pray for purity in the hearts of your children, and the renewing of their spirit as the Psalmist wrote, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." ~ Psalm 51:10
24. Take opportunities to give thanks by taking turns around the dinner table to express what you are thankful for.
25. Encourage praise reports and prayer requests on a regular basis. 
26. Be an example to your children in the way that you love and honor your husband.
27. Enlighten your children to the world around them by supporting missions and teaching them that there is a world both hungry for food and hungry for God. Pray that they will have a heart for missions.
28. Take opportunities to hug your children often, to hold their hands, or to rest an assuring hand on their shoulder.
29. Show your children that you appreciate them by doing something special just for them, like making their favorite meal, or taking them out for an ice cream.
30. As you watch your child grow, pray for meekness in that young spirit--a spirit that will grow in the likeness of Christ. As Paul wrote to the Ephesians in chapter 4:2, "With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love."
31. Make it a habit to learn scripture together. Children learn best from example. 

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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