Grab a Glass Half-Full of Acceptance

Up until two years ago I was in the habit of getting down on myself for every little mistake that I made. When you consider that I made several/day you’ll understand why this was a problem. I tend to be clumsy, unfocused and big-time forgetful.

It all came to a head when my daughter and I went on vacation together. We had never done anything like this before, but I had just received an advance on a book I was writing and I had always wanted to go to LA. Knowing that this would be a good chance to bond with my daughter I seized the opportunity. We were excited to spend an entire week in the sun.

What I hadn’t anticipated was how intimidating the experience would be. We were far from home and not only was I responsible for myself, I was responsible for her safety as well.

I made mistakes at every turn, starting from the moment we got off the plane and found out that our hotel didn’t have the airport shuttle we were promised. Taxi cabs were a nightmare. We’d go shopping one place and find out that the cab wouldn’t drive us back to our hotel because it was out of their jurisdiction.

I thought I had it all worked out when I booked a tour guide to take us to Universal Studios. The bus driver pulled up into the parking lot, dropped us off and told us that he’d be back at 6pm to bring us back to our hotel.

Do you want to know what a goof I was? We spent most of the day outside the gates. Yep! I had no idea that there was an entire theme park to see! The park entrance was like a mall, with restaurants and shops, but after getting through that in about an hour, we sat on a bench wondering what all of the hoopla was about. Why would anyone pay to go there? Finally we discovered that the little ticket in our pockets gave us entrance into a theme park unlike anything we had ever seen before.

Unfortunately by the time we got in to the park it was late in the day and we only had about an hour left to see everything.

You Can Choose Your Mood

I was so near to tears I could barely enjoy the time we had left. All I wanted to do was tell myself what an idiot I was, and how I had ruined our entire trip. I stood there choking back tears as I looked down at my watch. Then something happened. I guess you could say that I was standing at a fork in the road. I could either choose to focus on my imperfections or I could grab a glass half-full of acceptance. I chose to accept myself as a wonderfully-weird work in progress and we enjoyed the rest of the day.

The next morning we walked down to the ocean. Although our hotel was close to the shore we had spent all of our time up on the Santa Monica Pier. Madison wanted to dip her toes in the ocean for the first time in her life and I wanted to walk barefoot on the beach. About three hundred feet from the shoreline, I stopped short, took a deep breath and cried, “Oh no!”

Madison turned to look at me wondering what it could possibly be.

“Maddy,” I said, “I goofed up. We don’t have to leave our hotel in an hour—our plane leaves California in an hour!”

Both of us turned around as quickly as we could and ran back to the hotel to pack. That feeling of failure washed over me again, just as it had the day before. How could I have made an error like this? What if we don’t catch our plane in time?!

And then, just as fear and doubt were about to set in, a sense of peace washed over me. Regardless of what was about to take place, we would not only be okay, we’d make the best of the day. And we did. The trip home was every bit as fun as our vacation was.

With that I'd love to close with Paul's two-fold perspective on perfectionism which calls us to forget the past and press on in faith!

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
~ Philippans 3:12-14, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Do You Know How Proud I Am of You?

Because I'm a woman, a wife, and a mother, my writing it targeted toward other "women." My mission is to encourage you--as I'm also pursuing--to joyfully serve your family as unto the Lord. 

I've noticed however that I'll often see comments in regards to my blog or my book along these lines: "there should be more books that focus on how men should lead their wives and how they should properly respect/treat them. I don't see half as many books on the subject as I do women."

By the way... have I ever told you how much I appreciate your feedback? I do--thank you!

So let's address this shall we?

We all know how important it is for children to have male role models that they can look up to, and how much of an influence dads can have in their lives. The way that my husband relates to me as his wife for example, leaves a lasting impression on our children and will help them determine the way that they should treat women or how my daughter should expect to be treated as a woman.

The truth is however that having a great dad isn’t always the case. While some of you may have incredible husbands, many of you may be struggling with a spouse that isn’t involved with the children, doesn't lead the family spiritually, or in some cases he's completely out of their lives.

While I am praying and hoping that fathers are stepping up to lead the family in faith, I write to women in hopes that we are managing our own responsibilities and stepping up where we must.

I could offer some thoughts to men on the topic of parenting but it isn’t my calling or my place to teach them. The truth it that I don’t know the first thing about being a man, a husband or a father.

I know what it's like to have a child living and growing inside me, and I know what it’s like to hold my child up to my breast while she takes her first drink. I know the joy and sacrifice in being a mom. 

Here is a quote by author Donna Ball that sums up motherhood well.

Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else's happiness
and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons,
to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...
and to forgive yourself, over and over again,
for doing everything wrong.
~ Donna Ball, At Home on Lady Bug Farm

Did you catch that last part about imperfection? When you consider that many women are starting families in their early twenties, you have to expect that many of us will stumble along the way. Weren’t you just eighteen yesterday? Didn’t you learn to ride a bike the week before? Where did the time go?

You’re a teenager one day and the next day you’re someone’s wife. You have a home of your own and more importantly you have children that are depending on you to make the best choices for them physically, mentally and spiritually. There are dishes in the sink, the laundry pile is out of control, and you can’t find time for a nap, but you keep pressing on daily because that’s what love does.

Can I stop for a moment to tell you how proud I am of you? Seriously. I’m in tears as I write this because I know that there are many of you—so many — who don’t realize how appreciated you are.

Whether you are raising a baby, a toddler, or a teen you are someone’s “mom” and that’s an incredible job!

And by the way, young "wife" yes--I'm proud of YOU too.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Pick up my book: The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Dear Darlene,

I used to be a super busy woman, Bible study teacher, involved in many ministries, our daughter was busy too, piano, harp, musical theater, ballet... You get the idea a super (overly busy family). My husband works, but none of us were connected. Our daughter became ill, which brought me into deep depression, then her health tanked just as I was recovering (God's Provision). She increasingly got worse through grade 3 and by the summer she was in hospital more than not. We were transferred to a Children's Hospital in another state. She and I lived in hospital almost the entire fall there, my husband visited as his job allowed. She basically was unable to attend school at all through 4th grade.


I tell you all this as I am under the care of an excellent Christian counselor. Admittedly, for the past year, I have simply endured my life or lack thereof. I know longer am able to participate in really any activities outside of our home. I'm not reliable I cancel things all the time, because if my daughter gets sick it is my responsibility.

I have failed to grasp the life God has given me, I wanted something more, something bigger more significant. I am an attorney by trade, however I don't work. I have been challenged in my thought that God must not think much of me to leave me here.

We only have one child. I have had to confess I think I am better than this life. I'm ashamed and yet, I still am grasping that by doing for my family I am connecting to them, contributing to the family, and it feels good. I do have purpose.

Clearly, I'm only able to articulate only a piece, but all that to explain, I stumbled on your blog & I'm trying to learn. I saw somewhere you said to put some of the schedules into a binder? Do you have a layout for how to get started on truly being an engaged Wife & Mom? I have downloaded The Good Wife's Guide eBook, though haven't started it yet. I printed out the housekeeping schedule, but when I tried to get the schedules on how to clean a bedroom & bathroom, I couldn't find them.

I'm am trying to learn how to not get overwhelmed by the cleaning. I do laundry, however, meals are my biggest weakness. Our daughter isn't able to eat, though we are working to be able to give her a few foods, but it is severely limited. My husband can & enjoys cooking, so I have deferred to him, but I really don't grocery shop either. I just don't know what to get & with only 2 people eating I find figuring out portions hard.

Please advise or direct me to any resources that would help me to get a better handle on this. I know the journey we are on is a long one, and I know God as me here for a reason. I also hope you aren't offended by my clearly misguided views. God is gently working with me. Thank you in advance for anything you may be able to offer to help me.

Enduring Life

Dear Enduring Life,

Thank you for your letter, and your transparent heart. I'm glad to hear that you have a copy of my book because I suspect that it will be a big encouragement to you. The cleaning schedules that you are looking for (the ones you mentioned) are in the eBook and so I took them off of my website. I'll be putting up different types of schedules in the future, and Kim Brenneman often shares those types of posts too.

The big thing that I think you will glean from the book is that so many women struggle to keep it all together, while many of us suffer with "June Cleaver Syndrome." We think that everyone else does it so much better than we do. There are seasons in everyone's life, and this season of your life sounds like a struggle as you are taking care of a sick daughter, and the stress of it all. 

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV

I had to take care of my dad last fall. He died of lung cancer and his brain was full of tumors. I slept in the same room with him helpless as he desperately struggled to breathe. Needless to say my housework suffered while I was dealing with this season of my life, and my kids enjoyed pizza more than they should have.

Bottom line is this, all you have to handle is what God has given you at this very moment. And if that moment is filled with you standing by your daughter's side encouraging her along, then you are fulfilling your God-given role of a mom. Purpose isn't found on a sparkling countertop, or beneath the cushion of a well-vacuumed couch. And in your case--nor would it be defined in a law office away from the home--it's defined in those moments when we give of ourselves for the glory of God. That looks different for everyone.

Here's what a friend of mine told me the other day. Her daughter had just thrown up for the umpteenth time, and so she started a bath for her, just as the dog started to whine. Running to the kitchen she stepped in dog poop--seriously--but that's not all. She put the dog outside, and as she was hustling back to the bathroom she slipped in dog pee and landed flat on her back. Anyone walking into her house could have taken one look at the mess and judged her accordingly. But the sad thing is that WE are often the ones who are busy judging ourselves.

God sees into your heart to where the sacrifices are made, and while He does He's not looking to find perfection. I'll tell you why...

When Jesus died on the cross, He said, "It is finished." The law that condemned us was complete and fulfilled through His sacrificial death. We are made perfect through Him. And so we will fall and we’ll fail, because we struggle against the flesh, but there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk after the Spirit.

So, I ask you to first and foremost forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Don’t give up on your desire to please God and your family, but do it in peace without expectation.

You said, “I have failed to grasp the life God has given me, I wanted something more, something bigger more significant.”

I’d like to ask you to start grasping that right where you are today. Ask yourself this question. What has God given me to handle today? Then take that one step and see where He leads you. That where you'll find your purpose.

One of my favorite pieces of advice was given to me by my dad last year when I spoke frankly with him about my shortcomings. And let me assure you—they were SHORT!

Dad said this, “God doesn’t care what you did yesterday, He wants to know what you’ll do today.”


I’m praying with you as you grasp the life God is giving you now.

And finally you asked for a resource, in particular the area of cooking. I have a good one for you! Check out Comfy in the Kitchen. Janelle is an amazing cook who is truly gifted from God. Unlike you and I she thrives in the kitchen. Her motto is “Step-By-Step You’ll Get it Yet.” Her tutorials are so easy to follow and she makes delicious recipes! I love this chick, and I think you will too!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

The Ministry of Being a Motherand a Titus 2sday Link Up!

Being a stay at home mom will not look the same for each woman. Our life circumstances are all different. Some of us home school, while others have children in school. Some of our husbands work from home, while others leave for the day. Some of us have babies or toddlers, while some have older children. It does change with each season of life.

My mom was a stay-at-home-mom. While we were in school, she was always involved in some kind of ladies Bible study and/or teaching one. She also made and decorated cakes to earn extra money. I don't think I ever remember there being a time that I would come home from school and she wasn't there. If we were home, so was she. My dad liked to have dinner at a particular time each night. It was always ready. Our home was always in order. I don't think I remember her ever being so committed to anything outside our home that she wasn't available to be a "keeper at home."

I had dreams of being married and living the kind of life my Mom had, going to Bible studies while my kids were in school, being there for them when they got home... But my life has been different in many ways even though I am a "stay at home mom."

It is different because God decided that our children would be home schooled. That meant I was home most of the time. If my children were going to learn what they needed to learn, and accomplish what they need to get done, I needed to be at home. As they grew up they were involved in sports and some other activities, but the bulk of our time was spent at home because the job of home schooling--and doing it effectively--was huge.

On top of that, I still had a home to keep in order and meals to make. I don't mean a PERFECT HOME or PERFECT MEALS. I mean and ORDERLY HOME and MEETING THE NEEDS OF MY FAMILY. I found that the at home "mothering" season of life for me meant that some of what I might have wanted to do had to be set aside for awhile--and most of the time I really didn't mind that. It has been for a season, not forever.

A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to take a seminary class. Because my husband works for the school I would not have to pay for the class. "What a great opportunity," I thought. So I registered. Each week I would make my way up to the seminary for my class. I loved the learning and the interaction I had in the classroom setting. I enjoyed the reading. When I got home I had papers to write and projects to do. I actually did well in the class and that was a good feeling as well. But there was one problem. I wasn't available to my family as I should have been.

They did not complain, but as the semester moved along I started feeling torn. On the days I had class--I had to leave my children. When I got home--I had to throw dinner together and then spend time doing home work. I kept hearing myself say, "I can't help you right now. I need to finish this homework," and I knew that my "seminary career" was over... at least for awhile.

Was there anything wrong with taking a seminary class? No. It was just not the right timing for me. I needed to be available to my family.

All that said, I must also share that even though there is much sacrifice involved in the "ministry of mothering," God does provide those "extra" things as well. Times of fellowship with other women, maybe a lunch date here and there, and an encouraging phone call. I enjoy my time of reading books for my own learning and enjoyment, and normally have two books going at one time! I have found that the more I am focused on my God ordained ministry of keeping my home, loving my husband, and loving my children, the more God has blessed and provided for me in ways I never imagined. It is awesome! It is a joy!

I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, how do we decide how much to be involved in outside the home?

• We pray!
  We ask God to give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Eph 1:17).
• We pray!
  We ask God to open our eyes to the calling and privilege it is to be pouring our lives into these people He has placed in our care!
• We pray!
  We ask God for wisdom. We must be willing to sacrifice some of our interests for a season if we must, and embrace the high calling of the ministry of being a mother.
• We pray!
  We take the time to evaluate our life circumstances by asking these questions: Is my home in order (I didn't say "perfect", or "spotless"-but is it orderly?) Do I have the time to plan and prepare nutritious meals for my family? When is my husband home? Am I there when he needs/wants me to be there, or am I gone most evenings? Am I able to be consistent with disciplining and training the children, or am I going so much that I don't have the opportunity to address things most of the time? Do I find more fulfillment outside my home, than I do being in it? IF SO, do I understand what God has called me to, and what a privilege it is? Do I spend time with other women that encourage me in my ministry at home, or do they encourage me to be out of my home and to be discontent with my life there. Do I regularly watch those TV shows that portray husbands as "idiots" and children as a burden?
• We pray!
  Finally, after answering all of these questions...what time do I have left for outside activities with the ages of my children, during the season I am in, and in my life circumstances? Do I see the opportunities to minister that come to my door? Are there opportunities to minister in some way as a family, or with my children, so that I am not taking much time away from them?

What are we teaching the next generation? Are we teaching them, by our attitudes and the way we are living, those things that are most important? (Titus 2:3-5) Are we teaching them that to love our husbands, love our children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, and to be subject to our husbands are our most important ministry?

AND, that when we do not see this as our privilege and our calling--and choose to live it out--"THE WORD OF GOD IS DISHONORED!"

I believe if we do not see this--if we do not walk in obedience--the consequences will not only be great in our own lives, but we will also miss an opportunity to train our children to be a light in this world.


Our guest today is Gina, a Christ follower, who desires to glorify God in all that she does. Gina became a self proclaimed "old lady" after reading and studying what the Bible says, in Titus 2, about the role of "older women." She prays that she will continue to grow into that role, and most importantly, to LIVE OUT THE GOSPEL and live life WITH you!

You can find her blogging at "Keepin' it Real"where she is continually growing and challenging readers to also grow in their faith.

For questions or comments, contact Gina through her website: click here

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Atm-ApY4ldP-O7eR0519OFOKnockEQmXWToMkyuK6e87X32qO3bIoYXncuITHrXifevqNtD260If98D1sxiflVBqLGIdIl-9vaL_gQgW5hOYk9GzU947F_vYU-H_JiCHlEFmiTsElVI/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Assembly Not Included

The home should be a self-contained shelter of security;
a kind of school where life’s basic lessons are taught;
and a kind of church where God is honored"
~ Billy Graham, “My Answer”


A few years back, my husband and I came across an awesome desk/computer hutch. Closed up it looked like a provincial style wardrobe, but with the doors open and the front section pulled out, it became a large L-shaped desk--perfect for our home office.

We ordered the desk to be delivered the following week, and like most things these days it arrived in countless pieces, along with instructions that Einstein himself might have had trouble deciphering. Fastening, and fitting and flipping, and reading… the desk took us three evenings to complete.

We were fortunate enough to have a manual, and an idea of what the finished product should look like, but during the entire process I couldn’t help but wonder how single parents managed to do this--kudos to you. Even with the two of us working together to assemble this desk it took patience and time. And so it is with most things we buy--“assembly not included.”

Fortunately we have developed a system that has helped us to move things along. I read the instructions, gather the necessary pieces and hand them over to Michael to finish each piece.

So it is with family--"assembly not included.” You’re surrounded with children, parents, relationships, social situations and direction from the Word of God. You have some idea of what you hope things will look like, but in order to assemble it well, you need direction, patience and time.

Even with patience, time, and the best manual one can imagine you have a lot going against you. Sin is creeping at your door, day in and day out, hoping to undo all the good that you’ve done.

Knowing how quickly our children can be influenced by the outside world, we as parents need to be on guard at every turn. Who are they playing with? Where are they when they’re not at home? Who are they talking to online?

Until our children are adults we not only have a right to know where they are and what they are doing, we have a responsibility to find out.

One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me was from a mom who said, “Get to know your children’s friends. And make your house the place they all want to land.”

I love that advice and I’ve tried to do that by offering to pick up kids and drive them home when necessary. We’ve also set up a family room in the basement where the kids can play Wii and watch movies.

But I also realize that there will be times when they are out of my site and I’ll have trust them to adhere to what they’ve been taught.

There’s nothing that we as parents can do to control those situations, but there are ten things we can do to promote good results:

1. Cover them in prayer often.
   
2. Train them well, teaching them to value the precepts of God.
   
3. Live by example.
   
4. Encourage Christian fellowship from a young age.
   
5. Wisely correct them when they have done wrong and offer due punishment when necessary.
   
6. Offer them grace and a listening ear, keeping the lines of communication wide open.
   
7. Spend time with them so they feel loved and respected.
   
8. Honor your husband so they will honor him too.
   
9. Keep peace in the home so they will enjoy being there.
   
10. Hug them, hold them and tell them they’re loved.

And while you "assemble" this family of yours, may I offer a verse from the greatest manual yet?


All scripture is given by inspiration of God,
and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof,
for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly
furnished unto all good works.
~ 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Visit me at "Women Living Well" today
where I'm sharing a post called,
"How to Truly Hug Your Children."

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Teaching Grace

Hi Darlene,

First let me say I agree with everything I have read on your website. I love the guidance you give to have a happier home and marriage, and I have three small children of my own.

My question to you concerns older children and reflections on my past.

I’m sad to say that my dear husband and I 'slipped' from our very faithful ways while we were engaged, and I became pregnant. This resulted in a wedding six weeks later instead of five months later.

When the children are older, and I’ve raised them the best that I can, how can I say if they ask, “Yes, this is what we did, and we repented. You weren’t the mistake but the result of that mistake, and we love you, but don’t want you to go down the same path?”

Because it was so hard on us, in the home and in the church, I would never wish it on anyone and want my kids to be stronger than I was. I can do my best when they are small and hope that’s enough but I just wondered what your thoughts are.

Yours,

Walking strait again, for me and my babies

Dear Walking Strait,

Thank you for your letter and your kindness. I love that you have a zeal for raising your children well, and I’m excited to see how these seeds you are growing will flourish.

The first thing I’d say is that there isn’t any need to tell them until they get to the age where they figure it out and start asking questions. What you and your husband have done is between you and God, and no one else needs to be the wiser. Nevertheless, in most cases, the children start doing the math and once they put two and two together the light bulb goes off, and you may be questioned.

An important lesson that we need to teach our children is grace, and when you answer their questions, you’ll have the opportunity to share that message with them. Grace cannot be understood by those who haven’t learned the gravity of sin. Mingling grace with sin is like trying to teach the concept of light without the knowledge of dark.

Therefore, the more that we teach our children to obey the Word of God and the clear difference between right and wrong, the greater chance they have in understanding the goodness of God.

While you may be tempted to soften the blow by saying, "We made a mistake," or "We slipped up,” it’s important that you clearly point out that your disobedience to God was sin—nothing less. Not that you were a terrible person, or that you’d love your children any less if they were in your shoes, but that defying God’s law is sin, and that our actions have consequences.

On one hand parents want to candy coat things so that their kids get the idea that they were conceived in love, blah, blah, blah… but the bottom line is that YOU had nothing to do with conception—God did. He is directly responsible for life.

Children aren't conceived through sin, or by the outstanding track records of the righteous. They are conceived by the loving grace of God who breathes life into each soul. That's what makes them special, and that's what makes them matter in this world.

For thou hast possessed my reins:
thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made: marvellous are
thy works; and that my soul knoweth
right well.
My substance was not hid from thee,
when I was made in secret, and curiously
wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
~ Psalm 139:13-15, KJV


I pray that your deep understanding and acceptance of grace by the Holy Spirit will provide you with the words when the timing is right.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

In participation with:

How Do You Present Yourself?

It’s often been said that we should start the day off with a good breakfast, but for many women the day starts long before we even make it to the kitchen. We look in the mirror, either put on our robes or shower and dress, and we might greet several members of our family before we even sit down to eat.

Since we're the first thing they see, it’s important to consider how we are presenting ourselves to them.

A good friend once told me that she’s made it a personal goal of hers to greet her children in the morning with a smile on her face. She believes that the attitude that she starts the day off with has a great impact on her family. When she gave me this advice, I started to ask myself what my children were seeing first thing in the morning. Let me tell you, it wasn’t a pretty sight! So I took those words of wisdom to heart by applying them to my morning routine.

What boy wouldn’t like being greeted by a warm voice calling out, “Good morning sweetie!” along with a reminder of the good things the day holds for his life? They all would. What girl wouldn’t love to lift a lid only to find breakfast being served to her in bed by Mom and her brothers? I can’t think of one.

Just yesterday my daughter woke me up with a cup of tea and some danish cinnamon cookies. We all love that kind of reception in the morning, don't we? As a matter of fact we like it 24/7.

Terry Maxwell, author of Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit wrote, “I am the one holding the keys to the atmosphere in our home.” That’s a powerful statement, and one I believe to be true.

Consider Christ the foundational groundwork in your home, and build upon that foundation with a gentle, and humble heart that draws your family near.

It’s often said; “When Momma’s happy, the family is happy,” so let that happiness pour out as a gift to God, to yourself, and to your family.





This is the day which the LORD hath made;
we will rejoice and be glad in it.
~ Psalm 118:24

If you don’t feel that you have joy--then pray. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, meaning that when the Spirit of God is living and moving in your life, that joy will naturally flow.

I'm not offering a Pollyanna attitude to women with clinical depression as I have seen the effects of that first hand in my family, but rather I speak to those women who see the world through the murky haze of a glass half empty. If you haven’t given your attitude over to God then you’re missing out on one of the greatest gifts that God offers in your Christian walk--joy.

And upon that joy--add virtue. Allow Him to use you in every way, including the way you choose you attitude.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people,
holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves
with compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness and patience.
~ Colossians 3:12, NIV


You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, join in the discussion on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

In participation with:

How To Truly Hug Your Children

A hug is an exchange
of two hearts entwined for
one precious moment in time.

Since we found out that my dad was sick with cancer this past year, I won't leave the house without hugging and kissing my parents. I have come to realize that every minute I have with them is a gift from God. Every hug, every word, every kiss—all gifts that I tuck into the treasure chest of my heart. I cherish their wisdom, their loving kindness, and yes—their touch.

We all need physical contact--numerous studies have proved that, and common sense confirms it to be true.

“Verbal and physical affection enable a child to learn morality. When loving parents teach morality and impulse control children listen. Physical affection turns children into sponges ready to absorb the lessons parents teach. Teens also need hugs and praise.” Liane J. Leedom, M.D. Mother, Author, Psychiatrist.

We all know the benefits of hugging our children, but how many of us are hugging them to the fullest?

My mother is 78-years-old, and for the first time this month, I have felt a hug from her unlike any I’ve ever experienced before. Same goes for my husband. I’ve started receiving hugs from him that not only remind me of how much he loves me, they tell me he doesn’t want to let go.

For years my parents have been doing the “pat.” In fact, my teen-aged son had started doing the “pat” too in recent years, until I pointed out to him that a pat could never hold the same potential that a genuine embrace can. It is now a topic of humor in our family, but nevertheless the hugs have improved immensely.

Since I’m a self-proclaimed “self-help junkie,” it’s no surprise to anyone that I have a book on body language. I picked it up last summer and thumbed through it on our holidays.

In The Power of Body Language, author Tonya Reiman writes, “[The pat] is the universal signal for, ‘OK, the hug is coming to a close now.’”

The pat is commonly used for social hugging, and it can also indicate that a hugger is uncomfortable and wants to let go.

A hug is an exchange of two hearts entwined for one precious moment in time. It’s a warm embrace that reminds you you’re loved. It’s a squeeze that tells children they are secure in your arms. It’s being held close by a gesture that signifies, “You are cherished and loved.”

In an article titled, “Soaking Up More than Spilled Milk,” author Ann Voskamp writes, “So I do it. I grab the angriest, messiest heart and hold it close. A wonder! Every single time you can feel it right through you, that potency of touch. It’s how Jesus healed the leper, the blind men, the deaf and dumb man, the mother-in-law of Peter. He absorbed the sin with a lingering, intentional touch.”

A genuine hug entails an
intentional, lingering, and deliberate
touch that sews their heart with yours.

Linger a while longer, embrace with intention, and let your hearts mingle before you let go.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook. It's a great community of fun and fellowship!

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

A Season for Everything

This past week I was corresponding with a reader named Meghann. Meghann and her husband met when they were merely twelve years old, and after living in different countries for a while, God brought them back together. Their love story is a beautiful one of a young faith-focused couple.

Dear Darlene,

I just wanted to send you a few words of encouragement. I found a link to your blog through Women Living Well, and thought that your blog looked interesting, especially because of the wonderful vintage pictures--I love those, too!

As I began to read your posts, I found that while we may differ in some ways, I am really inspired by you. As a working (outside the home) mom and wife--who has very little time to spare--your tips on homemaking have been absolutely brilliant. The recent “25 Organizational Tips” post was especially helpful.

I struggle with trying to find a balance between home and work lives, and it is difficult, but for our family right now it is necessary that I have an outside job. My wonderful, hardworking husband was laid off from his former position and had to take a lower paying job for a while, so we need the extra income for the time being.

I also related to you because of your tender, yet frank, discussion and exploration of feelings about your miscarriages. I have had two babies born to heaven--one in October of 2009 and one in January of this year. It is always helpful to know that I am not alone in that.

We have an adorable two-year-old boy named Asher (named for the tribe of Israel who I think got the most fun blessing from Moses) and he loves helping me dust with socks on his hands--also your idea!

Anyway, it has been a rough 2010 in many ways for our family, but also one of growth and one of great blessings. I wanted you to know that I have been really encouraged by your blog and that I always look forward to reading it.

Thanks again, Darlene!

Meghann

Dear Meghann,

Thank you for your letter. I'm so glad that you have enjoyed the housekeeping posts. This is the first time I've received feedback from a working woman, so it's refreshing to hear that the routine fits within the boundaries of your schedule. I imagine that with less time in the house, there is a greater need for organization and routine!

You said, "It is difficult, but for our family right now, it is necessary for me to have an outside job." With that I'd like to offer my prayer that God will bring relief to your family and bless the employment of your husband. It's honorable of him to continue working, even if it means receiving lesser pay so he can provide for his family. You must be so proud of him. And for you to step in when your husband needs you is nothing short of a blessing to him!

Reading your letter I'm reminded of the following scripture:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
~ Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-8

Looking back on my marriage of 22 years I see that to be true. There have been tough times, and there has been laughter. We've seen death and experienced life. We've experienced the strain of unemployment, and the success of a growing business. We've shared joy and we've shared sorrow. It's true. And with that I also see that, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." (verse 11)

I pray that God will bring you much comfort as you move through the loss of your little ones. And while I mourn with you, I also rejoice in the blessing of Asher. He sounds incredibly precious as I imagine a little sock on his hand. I understand that his name means "happy," so with that I pray asking God for a blessing of joy on him all the days of his life.

And yes, I do believe that Asher received an incredible blessing from Moses. I see the "oil" mentioned in the scripture as a representation of joy (as we also find in Isaiah 61:3). It's a wonderful name, and one I wish I would have thought of myself!

“Most blessed of sons is Asher; let him be favored by his brothers, and let him bathe his feet in oil."
~ Deuteronomy 33:24

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Dear Darlene,

Your wonderful response to my letter made my day. I know that you must get a lot of feedback, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you writing me such a thoughtful email. I'm enclosing a picture of my family just for fun so you can see Asher (not wearing the sock on his hand, but cute anyway). His middle name is Gabriel. We thought it a good combination to pair Asher (happiness) with Gabriel (God is my might). I think it shows in him. He's strong and determined, but always joyful. I'm very blessed to have a happy, healthy boy and a wonderful husband.

Thank you for acknowledging that it is honorable of my husband to take a lower paying job to provide for his family. It is so hard for him, and so few people see that. Of course, he wishes he could be the provider without my help, but he is always so appreciative to me for working hard, too. He gets me flowers every weekend--a tradition since we began dating many years ago.

I told him that while we were strapped for money for a while, I didn't need the flowers--we could save that money.

He firmly said, "No, that's not an option. You deserve the flowers you love even more now, and you will always have them, even if I have to plant them and pick them myself."

This summer, that's what he did. We had a garden in our yard, and my blue vase was filled with flowers all the time. Then, this fall, when they stopped growing, he talked our neighborhood flower shop owner into letting him deliver flowers for a couple of hours on Saturday mornings so that he could get me flowers.

Now, his job is working full time at an upscale grocery store, as many hours as he can while he goes to school to get a second degree. They sell flowers at the store, and he brings them home to me every week. My favorite blue vase has not stood without flowers since we began these difficult times, and I know that my determined husband who loves me will keep it that way.

I am sure that even though I am the first working woman to write to you, I'm not the only one reading. I bet you are reaching so many more than you know.

Thank you for your support and prayers. I also love that passage in Ecclesiastes--I refer to it often. Please know that I will say a daily prayer for you and your family and that I send my continued appreciation for your blog and the encouragement it brings me, and I'm sure, many others.

Sincerely,


Meghann


For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Click to share on Facebook:Share

Give Thanks

When my children bow their heads to pray, they look as though they are expecting God to tiptoe into the room, put a balloon on the floor, and then pop it with the nearest pin. The faithful anticipation I witness in the clasp of their tiny hands warms my heart, inspiring me to grow in childlike faith. While their eyes are tightly closed, their lids flicker like they’re trying to release a wad of glue from their lashes. Their shoulders are raised from the big breath they inhaled, and they’re holding onto that breath for the big ‘amen’. During the silence of the moment when they’re sure that no one will know someone always sneaks a peek, with one eye half open, while the other struggles to stay closed.

“Dear Heavenly Father—” Graham starts to pray.

“Wait!” The other children interrupted in unison, “It’s not your turn.”

“It’s my tuwn,” Nathaniel says bowing his little head, “Dear Heavenwy Fa—”

“You get to pray over snacks!” Graham argues, remembering a conversation we had two years ago.

I walk over to the table grasping for divine wisdom, and a little peace, “Graham, we aren’t together for four meals anymore, and so the rules have changed, but I’m going to let you say the prayer today, okay? Everyone, listen to Graham.”

Graham starts his prayer again, “Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this food, and thank you for this great day. I’m glad we have a great Mommy and Daddy. In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

Picking up his spoon, Nathaniel adds, “And I love Jesus! Amen!” Just like he always does regardless of whose turn it is to pray.

While I guide my children, teaching virtues like that of thanksgiving. I find that more often I am the student drawn to the Lord by their zest. I desire to dwell in that attitude of gratitude, the same mind-set that moves us to run that we might win. Thoughts that stir our hearts to press on for the prize of the high calling, because of Who He is, and call us to live a life of thanksgiving abandoned at the foot of His throne.

With my eyes tightly closed I breathe in. With faithful anticipation, the word of God is clasped tightly in my hands. The spirit blows through my soul, and in the brush of its wind I hear the voice of the Father cry out, “Give thanks.”

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
~ Psalm 100

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit me on: Facebook

This post is linked up with:

Gratituesday

Born to Heaven

Darlene,

I watched your interview with Amy. It was excellent!

Did I hear you say that you had five miscarriages? I have had two and today I got news that it looks like I am having my third. I will not know for a few days as I did blood work again today. I had an ultrasound today and they don't see a heartbeat. I think I am earlier than they think, but who knows.

How did you survive five and still want to get pregnant again? I don't know that I can survive three. I know God is in control and He knows best, but it really does hurt.

Sara

Sara

Oh, Sara, I am so sorry for you. I’m heartbroken, and my spirit longs for your joy to return.

Yeah, I lost five. One was at five months along and I had to carry the deceased baby around for about a week because it wouldn't miscarry itself. That threw me into a deep depression. Not that I was sad over the miscarriage necessarily, but because it was so hard on my body.

And there is always day three. Day three after a miscarriage you have post-partum depression—at least I did every time. My husband became the enemy and I was grumpy.

Miscarriages are a strange thing. When I finally lost one on Christmas day, a hospital worker said to me. "God loves this child so much that he wants it in heaven with him. He is at the birthday party of our Lord." That’s when I started to think of those children as real kids. I have nine--five born to heaven.

It’s a tough walk, and a heart-wrenching experience to go through, but in many cases we do find they come along with a blessing in disguise. My niece had so much trouble with miscarriage and infertility that she was forced to adopt.

When their first son, Tyler was born on her birthday we knew it was nothing less than a God thing. If it wasn't for the trouble she had endured, adoption wouldn't have been a consideration for her and perhaps Tyler and his brother Jessie wouldn't be where they are today.

I’m not suggesting that adoption is your option at this point, because I really don’t know God’s path for you. Miscarriages are common, and having three doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t go on to having a dozen healthy kids. Following my five miscarriages I had three more children born to this world.

It's hard to see past the pain in search of God's plan, but remember that He holds that baby in the palm of His hand whether he's born to earth or born to this world. That is your child. You are a mom, and I'm proud of you because of the motherly love that you have. Don't ever let anyone make those unborn children feel less important to you. They are your babies, and your gift from God.

You can also read my article "Sacred Sorrow," which is an account of my own experience, and offers a few more thoughts on the topic.

My prayers are with you. Don't give up hope, and don't give up trying. After one born to earth, and five born to heaven, I had three more. That's nine children in total. I’m blessed, as are you!

I'm praying for you and the health of this baby.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
~ Psalm 126:5&6, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Dear Child of Mine

Dear Child of Mine,

It started at the mall—that moment I knew I was born to be your mom and that you belonged to me. Dad and I had decided to shop our separate ways—his, the hardware department; mine, the pharmacy, where I scraped $14.25 together, so I could tinkle on a wand.

20 minutes later, with new purchase in hand I watched, while the image of a plus sign announced your existence.

I had the kind of smile a kid gets when Grandpa lets them keep the puppy he found. It was a good smile—a very good smile.

December 25, 1996 was the day to celebrate our God who—clothed in mere humanity—had come to be with us. It was also the day that you, my little one—merely clothed by the flesh of my womb—had gone to be with Him.

A wise Dr. Seuss once said, “A person’s a person no matter how small.” He may not be ‘The Great Physician’ but I do agree with the doc on that one. I believe that, like you, each one of my children were a reason to celebrate life. Some stayed for only weeks, one stayed for 5 months, and your big brother Brendan is still hanging around after 18 years. I know you’d love his funny ways, but sometimes he tickles too much.

I never knew how long we’d be together—I wanted a forever. And yet when I did lose you—your existence wasn’t any less significant. Nothing was wrong with your perfect form, your spirit, or soul. I wasn’t a fool for thinking it would last. No. I am glad that I embraced your life and declared your existence to the world. It was simply a matter of His divine orchestration.

I’m grateful for a God who offers life, and by His Son—hope in the unseen things of this world. His Word teaches me that you are a treasure I hold, while reminding me that one day—one marvelous day—I’ll embrace you again.

For that short moment in time, I was a vessel that carried your fragile, growing little soul. Your days, though they were few, hold great purpose. You are, and always will be my child.

—Love, Mom.

I am mom to four children on earth, and five born to heaven. A mom to nine, indeed.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Remembering Dad

I still remember the day when I could barely hold the orange pencil that I carried over to my father. After taking a small carving knife from the yellow drawer in the kitchen, he sat in his chair at the red arborite table where he whittled the pencil and told a story from his past. His words captivated my soul while my body shook with laughter.

“Haven’t you ever been embarrassed, Dad?” I asked, with wide-eyed wonderment while I giggled behind my little hand.

“Only once,” he said blushing, “in grade two, when I asked a girl something I shouldn’t have...” His strong hands moved effortlessly with the wood while the story came to life. “Never worry about tomorrow,” he said placing the sharpened pencil in my hand, “just laugh about today. God will take care of the rest.”

I’ll always remember how the soft pink eraser smelled like the rubber soles of his shiny black shoes, and the freshly sharpened wood smelled like the dust of his workshop.

Centered in the long hallway of that house stood a cupboard, where inside lay a stack of fresh white paper. Each sheet held a life of it’s own within it’s magical fibers. That night, before resting my head on the white pillowcase, I waved my magic pencil over the canvas, bringing the paper to life with each mark I made.

Pictures of beautiful women in long flowing gowns, with honey colored hair and raspberry cheeks, filled the papers over time, reflecting my dreams of the future and what it would hold.

I longed for the day when I’d gallop away on a white horse with a handsome man who would take me far away to his palace. There we would embrace the joy of our children, until the time came to tuck them into bed.

Several years later, I found myself standing under a stream of urine at 3 am. It sprayed from the top bunk from which my daughter dangled—half in and half out of a dream world. While I sputtered and screamed and searched for the light switch, Madison made her way down the ladder. Like a drunken cat running from a bath, she left the room and locked herself in the bathroom.

It took me a while to coax her to open the door, but finally she did—wet and cold and confused. After I put clean pajamas on her and wiped up the floor, I held her in my arms for one more hug.

“I’m sorry, Mamma, she whispered, with her face buried into my chest.

Lowering my head closer to hers, I said, “Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong.” And then I held her closer and longer than I usually did, wishing I hadn’t sputtered and screamed like I had.

“I made a mess,” she cried. I felt the tension in her shoulders while she quietly sobbed.

I held her closer until she relaxed. “We all have accidents,” I assured her, “Come on, time for bed.”

When I stood outside her room that night with urine dripping from my honey colored hair, I realized that sometimes God’s plan is different than ours. With each glimpse that I get of His plan unfolding in the life of my family, I see so much more than I planned for myself.

Inspired by my father’s humor and zest for life, I continue to make my mark on the world, bringing my own words to life in the stories I write.

Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor last week, and you know what? He's not worried one bit about tomorrow, and he's still laughing about today, because as he puts it, "God will take care of the rest." I don't think I've ever met a person with more zest for life than he.

Please keep him in your prayers as we face the weeks and months ahead.

Update: Today he was tested and diagnosed with four brain tumors and lung cancer. He is in great spirits, and ask that prayers be only for God's will to be done.

Messy Faces In Divine Places

Brown paper covered the tables in place of a fancy tablecloth, while the head of a deer with over-sized antlers hung above our table in place of class. In place of a vase sat a cup of broken crayons, which came in handy when sometime after the drinks were served, I scribbled, “Help!” The six of us squeezed shoulder to shoulder into a booth that comfortably sits four. Each time a waiter rushed by, our jackets swung back and forth on the horseshoe from which they hung, like a pendulum thumping the back of my head. Trapped in a coo-coo clock, I waited for the hour to end.

I began reflecting on the days before kids, when tablecloths were white and dinner conversation didn’t consist of, “Oh honey, Nathaniel hasn’t been wiping again, and since he wears his pants inside-out with bum to the front, I think you’ll understand why the neighbor pulled me aside today.”

I also got to thinking about the days before kids, when a flickering candle gently lit up our space. Together we whispered sweet words of undying love. But that was the past, and now four children were present, competing to make their mark on the world.

No child makes his mark quite like our son Graham, who at some point in his six-year career as a boy morphed into a two-foot tall Billy Graham. Billy Boy Graham nearly had the restaurant staff singing "Just As I Am," while the customers walked through the aisle toward our table with all other heads bowed and eyes closed. Our entire time in the restaurant, Graham talked about Jesus and Satan:

“Dad, does Jesus walk the earth?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Is He inside me?”

“Yes.”

“Does Satan walk the earth?”

“Yes.”

“Is he inside me?”

“Nooooo!”

He thought for a moment, “What do people do in hell?”

“They just burn forever and ever.”

Again, he asked, “Why do we have to do what Jesus said, just ‘cause He died on the cross?”

Dad tried to change the subject, “Can we talk about this later?”

Then very loudly, Graham calls out, “Whoever loves Jesus, put up your hand! Mom, don’t you love Jesus? Put up your hand!”

“Graham, no more of putting up hands in the restaurant OK? Yes, I love Jesus. Brendan how was school today?”

“Whoever doesn’t love Satan, put up your hand!”

“Graham, no more putting up hands, OK?” I yanked down his hand.

“You know who I love best in the world, Dad?”

“Who?”

“Jesus.”

Meanwhile, four-year-old Nathaniel ate sour cream with his fingers while Maddy picked fries off the floor and Brendan the teen-aged eating-machine surveyed the dessert menu. When he enters a restaurant, Brendan expects the full meal deal served on a silver platter. “How much is the sky high chocolate pie, Mom?” he asked.
“Seven-fifty I think. It’s expensive.”

“OK, I’ll have that next, and I need a refill on this drink.”

The way he sees it, money is no object until Mom and Dad start to object.
In stark contrast, Maddy sits in her spot and eats whatever is passed down to her: tomatoes, a chili fry, chunks of chicken, even the sour cream from Nathaniel’s fingers, if that’s all she can get her hands on. My daughter will eat until her eyes leak, and still want more. I know better than to ask my husband, “Do you want some of my meatloaf?” Because Maddy will start hopping up and down in her seat yelling, “I’ll have it.” And then a fist fight will breakout with her brothers, and she’ll win.

Ninety minutes and fifty dollars later we dragged the kids out with a crowd of sorrowful eyes watching us leave. Nathaniel was a walking sheet of fly paper—plastered in sour cream, salsa, and ice cream. We were careful not to brush Fly-Boy against anything on the way out, including small children that could have been dragged to the car by his cheek.

Twenty seconds passed and then a little voice from the back seat started up again, “Dad, why is Satan inside me?”

“Satan is not inside you, I told you that. Jesus is inside you.”

“No, you said Satan is inside us.”

“No, I didn’t.”

With that, Graham started again, “Whoever believes Dad, put up your hand!”

We arrived at home late, and before long, it was time to wash each messy face and tuck each little soul into bed. After tenderly kissing their foreheads good night, I reflected on the days before kids, when tablecloths were white and flickering candles lit up our space... Small hands never reached up for mine in the market, little lips didn’t press a kiss on my cheek, but most importantly, the day didn’t end with a tug on my heart and a child whispering, “I love you, Mommy; good night.”

I look at my children in awe of the gifts God sent my way, and how much He has abundantly blessed me today. I don’t want to look back on what was, or focus on what is to come. God has set my feet upon the path of motherhood, and with each step I take, I see a little more of His blessings unfurled. It’s when I discover that I’m right where He wants me to be; I see how He’s blessing me with messy faces in divine places.

I agree with Solomon’s wisdom when he wrote:
"Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy…
Oh how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!"
~ Psalm 127:3,5, The Message

Drawn from my archives

About Me - Darlene Schacht

Therefore shall a man leave his father 
and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: 
and they shall be one flesh. 
~ Genesis 2:24, KJV

It was my husband's birthday. We had big plans for the evening and I was hoping to make his day the best that I could. The presents were bought and we had plans to go to our favorite restaurant.

He got home from work a little early that day and asked me to join him in the living room. I wasn't sure what was up, but I understood from the look on his face that something was wrong. Something terrible.

Sitting across from him, I'll never forget the sound of his words that rang in my ears and ripped through my heart, "Are you having an affair?" He asked.

Looking up at him I quickly answered, "No. Why would you even ask that?"

"Please don't lie to me," he said. And as he continued to question me the heat rose in my face. My cheeks were numb, my mouth was dry and weak. "Did you have an affair?"

I hung my head, unable to look in his eyes. Barely able to speak I lifted my chin in a nod and then in another. My house of cards collapsed, my shame crashing to the ground along with it.

My sin, the glorious fruit of lust had enticed me into the pit of death where all I could think of was death. For death itself had enveloped me and with it came shame and reproach. I had sinned against God, my husband and my family. Everything I had once held so dear to me loomed above the pit of sin and shame I had dug for myself.

A few hours later I was up in my bedroom packing the few things I had left. Michael and I had talked, but at the end of the day there was nothing I had left to offer him, nothing but soiled rags--words of remorse that he couldn't rely on, and promises where all trust was gone. My eyes were swollen from crying, my heart was heavy with shame.

"Do you want to stay?" he asked.

I didn't know how to answer that. All I wanted to do was stay with my family--to turn back the clock a year--but I was unworthy to be a wife, a mother and a child of God. How could I stay in a place where I didn't belong? How could I ever live on the surface again? How could I ever be trusted to love?

"I can't." I said. "I just can't..."

And again he said, "That's not what I'm asking you. Do you WANT to stay?" he asked.

Loving his wife as Christ loves the church, his hand of grace reached down to me when I needed it most.

There is incredible power in the words of Jesus Christ who said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

I didn't deserve Michael's love and forgiveness. I didn't deserve a second chance. I didn't deserve my family and I didn't deserve to be loved by those that I hurt. But in that moment of darkness where one person in this world cared enough to display the covenant keeping love of Jesus Christ to His church I turned from my sin and clung to the grace of God that is strong enough to break the bands of sin and death. It's strong enough to graft one man to a woman when everything in this world threatens to pull them apart.

I started Time-Warp Wife out of that place of grace, all the while wondering if God could use someone who’s broken and tarnished like me. The object of my ministry is to encourage women in their marriage in hopes that they won’t make the mistakes that I have.

I am a sinner who is nothing without the grace of our Lord.

In order for two souls to survive this union--to be grafted together as one--they must be completely sealed by the covenant-keeping love of our Lord Jesus Christ and the faithfulness of His bride. It's the compound that holds marriage together and the reason itself that marriage exists.

Marriage exists to display the merciful

covenant-keeping love of Christ

and the faithfulness of his bride.

~ John Piper, Momentary Marriage

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Find me on Twitter: @darleneschacht